Questioner: Please answer first, Mr. President, the inquiry in which all of America is generally intrigued – “Were you brought into the world in the United States of guardians who were characteristic conceived residents,
as needed by The U.S. Constitution?”
The President: Well, that absolutely is a decent inquiry. Notwithstanding, the appropriate response relies on your meaning of “brought into the world in the United States.” You see, and I need to make this totally understood, I trust in the Walt Disney reasoning of “…a wish is a fantasy your heart makes.” As a youthful chap in Kenya, I wished to be in the United States along these lines, it might be said, my heart consistently has been here and, ipso facto, it calculates the remainder of me was here, as well. Additionally, I envision my folks made a similar wish in this way, hence, we as a whole are characteristic conceived residents of the United States.
Questioner: I see. Much obliged to you for that answer, Mr. President.
The President: Oh, and to guarantee there are no misconceptions, I have given my introduction to the world testament and Social Security number to the “Traditional press,” the two of which they quickly acknowledged and checked.
Questioner: But, Mr. President, aren’t there certain individuals who are testing these reports as falsifications.
The President: Well, once more, it relies upon your meaning of “falsification.” Once more, applying the Walt Disney reasoning, we effectively can wish that inconvenient actuality away.
Questioner: Very well, Mr. President. Presently at that point, would we be able to zero in on your experience as an All-American kid experiencing childhood in the United States. What is your instructive foundation?
The President: I’m glad to react to this inquiry, on the grounds that my instructive foundation, much the same as the remainder of as long as I can remember to date, is totally wonderful. Also, coincidentally, you don’t utilize the expression “kid” when alluding to African Americans since it harkens back to the Jim Crow and Uncle Tom days I talked about in my magnificent secretly composed book, “Dreams Of My Father.” Anyway, I stray. Indeed, I was generally blessed, and moved on from Harvard and Columbia Universities with the most noteworthy distinctions and honors feasible for an African American to accomplish.
Questioner: What were a portion of your achievements at these lofty organizations?
The President: I was leader of all the class years I went to the two schools – which remains so far another capability for my acquiring the workplace I hold today. Moreover, I altered the Law Journals, gotten letters in b-ball, football, and banter, and accompanied the Homecoming Queen four years straight. Truth be told, I wedded her after we graduated!
Questioner: Why is it not a solitary individual from both of those foundations of higher learning confesses to knowing you in classes, associations, or occasions, and no records or reports are accessible to show you gone to classes, altered the law diaries, or even had your class photograph taken for yearbooks?
The President: I can just credit that to my lowliness in needing to keep a position of safety and not advance my attractive features, superhuman achievements, and generally prevalent remaining among regular standard humans. In light of this, I prohibited having photos of me taken, requested that my teachers devastate my scholastic records after I “aced” their classes, and utilized aliases the flawless archives I made; cunningly closing down as “Barry Hemmingway.”
Questioner: Moving on, Mr. President, I see another of your capabilities for the most noteworthy office in the United States Government is as a “network coordinator.” How carried out you play out this obligation?
The President: Well, above all else, I exhibited my mastery from the start arranging individuals: Which I did by age, religion, sex, size, and shading. When I had them assembled thusly, it was a simple assignment to get them to cooperate for a typical reason, or neutralize each other when alluring. For instance, by utilizing the Mainstream Media to hype whatever contrarily affected the minority gatherings – and overlook any larger part bunch achievements – I had the option to make conflict, outrage, disdain, and antagonism at the local level. Furthermore, when you have the ‘hoods unsettled, you have coordinated the network.
Questioner: Very great, Mr. President. Presently at that point, there are the individuals who question your enthusiasm, since you don’t wear a banner lapel pin, salute the banner as you should, like “The National Anthem,” or address the different veterans’ or military gatherings.
The President: There’s a valid justification for my activities here. I am a quiet individual, and the exercises you notice are related with struggle. That is the reason I got the Nobel Peace Prize! I accept the banner of the United States definitely should be a “interwoven unique blanket” of the banners of the relative multitude of nations all through the World. That is to say, in case we’re to be the “police power” for the World, we should show the World’s tones, for which I figure the different nations around the world would regard us. Additionally, our National Anthem is too centered around war. That is to say, “bombs rushing in air” and “rockets red glare!” Why would it be able to be more youthful in soul; relate more to the present youth, rather than the hours of our Founding Fathers? I figure our National Anthem should be more Hip-Hop!
Questioner: I’m happy you brought that up, Mr. President. There likewise are the individuals who state you don’t like The Constitution our Founding Fathers created.
The President: Oh, I don’t disdain it…I simply think it has outlasted its helpful reason. All things considered, it was composed and endorsed by a few hundred individuals over 200 years prior. Like the National Anthem, it’s not on top of the occasions. It doesn’t address food stamps, medical services, natural contamination, the Internet, Global Warming, the situation of displaced people – whom I want to call “undocumented Democrats” – or even the fatty and fat substance of the nourishments took care of to our kids in state funded schools. Truly, the record should be refreshed, and in the event that I have my direction, the different courts will carry The Constitution into the 21st Century. Indeed, I’m considering giving an Executive Order to do that very thing, and model our record after that of France, Greece, or Italy.
Questioner: Thank you, Mr. President, for your time and assessments. I wish you good luck in getting the American public to help your thoughts for evolving America. Do you believe you will be effective and reappointed?
The President: Insha’Allah!
Questioner: I ask your exculpation?
The President: I mean, God willing! Much obliged to you for allowing me to communicate my objectives for actualizing what is needed to turn this nation around. In the event that we can meet up as a caliphate, or rather, nation, and receive a more social way to deal with helping our worldwide brethren – Muslims and Christians the same – this will be a significantly more okay nation, and one in which my better half may be more glad.
Questioner: Thank you, sir!
Leighton E. McCormick
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